HAZARON KHWAHISHEIN AISI..KI HAR KHWAHISH PE DUM NIKLEY…………………………………………………… ............................. BAHUT NIKLE MERE ARMAAN LEKIN PHIR BHI KUM NIKLEY………………..
Every sane and insane person in this world always has a piece of an advice in mind for girls----‘’ don’t step out when its dark outside”….
But this theory didn’t work in my case even when I choose the bright day light………
even in the clearest of daylight I couldn’t see few ugly, dark souls around….who were tightening there grip around my neck.
well..........I am pakhi…..a girl,,,ironically a beautiful GIRL. A girl with a bruised soul…..& a heart ..that only pumps blood and a brain full of jaundiced images and thoughts.no feelings,,no pain...its just plain....blanck.
God has given me a lead role in one of the ugliest dramas he has ever plotted.
But things in my life too,were normal,, everything around was beautifully created and perfectly placed until just sometime ago . i finished my graduation ,,,cleared CAT,,, n got through one of the top B-schools ……..dream accomplished. But it was just a start.....starting of a cruel drama.
To achieve my piece of success I perfectly refrained myself away from every fancies and fantasies of all kind…. But now I was raring to go…..all set to live life in my own way…. The way I have always wanted and dreamed it to be…….
And right then happened the most beautiful thing of my life…..” kabeer” an utterly romantic.. simple sober guY……………………………..I was in love with him the moment I saw him……. He “WAS” perfect by every angles of imagination…… he lacked only one thing out of all those “must to have” things…which ,in my case ,a boy needed to pass with flying colors……. But he was arguably best ….extremely irrestible…
And all he needed was a motor bike to qualify….. so I gifted him one…. And then Started a never ending love story………….{then I never thought that… one day this bike would take away everything from me….. almost everything……}
I always wanted to go for a bike ride holding my love close to my heart ….so it was like every now and then…when everwe had time when we used to hit the city roads…. Sometimes we covered even.. hundreds of kilometres in one stretch….
Then came the black bloody Sunday…..came so sweetly …. And so silently. again we were on the wheels….we were driving for almost an hour . Suddenly we realised that some half dozen people are following us on bikes…..and within no time we were surrounded…..
i was scared like hell….they made us stop…. Took away bike keys…. And asked us to give away our cell phones….. it all happened without us uttering a single word…… ……
Then suddenly…. One of them stepped forward n slapped kabeer across his face….. and started pouring out his moral policing lessons….. until then I thought it was normal case of robbery… but things changed its course to a gruesome direction….
After thrashing kabeer a couple of times they asked him to run away…. His face turned pale… unsure what to do next….. but I prayed him to leave….. otherwise they would have hurt him for sure…..one of them forced him to leave the scene and warned him not to inform police….otherwise they would make sure that I was not returning…….and he was gone…..then they took me to a stinking ,,secluded place…….it smelled of death….. smelled of horror.
I prayed for forgiveness but none listened……one of them took away my cell phone ….and said—
‘’ bahut jawani chadhi hai….”hmmmm. abhi tumhare baap ko phone laga ke batayein ki uski beti ka rape ho raha hai”
I flung myself to his feet and started crying…… plz don’t do this… plz my paa is a heart patient… he cant stand this setback……plz forgive me…. Plz let me go…..i will do whatever u would say…. Buut please keep my paa out of this.i beg…. Please. And I kept crying.i knew I was in trouble……. Neck deep In trouble.
‘’Chalo utho…..’’said he….. tumko lesson toh sikhana padega na…. cooperate karogi toh…. Kuchh nai hoga…. Subah vapas pahuncha denge.vaise bhi tum toh modern ho…. Kafi experience hoga.
I cried and cried…. And cried…..and just to alleviate the pain consciously fell unconscious..
For the next few hours what exactly happened is beyond words to describe… they came one after one and emptied their manhood inside me….one came again and again……… longest endless night.
I kept my eyes closed….. as I didn’t want to remember their faces…. Every bit of me was in pain…. I experienced a new definition of pain….
On my way back to hostel in a van I was almost unconscious. I locked myself in my room for a number of days I don’t remember…… all the while I was feeling sinful….. impure….. dirt and filth growing inside …sperms moving and multiplying inside my body and eating away every bit of me…..
Days…. Passed then weeks…I didn’t had the courage to meet kabeer…. Neither he showed up…. And suddenly one day he was gone…. He killed himself…..
And I didn’t feel anything…. May be because I was already dead… I wanted to cry but fell short of tears….all I felt was a big piece of heavy stone over my chest…. Which was not letting me breathe… I wanted to finish my life …. But I wasn’t brave enough like kabeer.i wasn’t sure as to why the hell I was even living…………
Then suddenly one day I found why I was….when a classmate of mine Aditya came to me….and asked me to have a look at an mms in his cellphone…… and I freezed…. The whole world spun around me in a moment…. Suddenly everything was clear.
[During the very first week of college days…. Aditya proposed me….. and I vehemently refused. But he kept on imploring me…. And one day he just crossed his limit….he distributed marriage cards with my name encrypted over it along with him. That was the limit….. I went berserk…. N slapped him in public.{ didn’t realize it then that this slap was going to ruin me …]
Aditya revealed his ugly plans of revenge, without any mark of shame over his face …how he used to tipp off about our whereabouts to his friends whenever we were out…. How they made a collusion…… a gruesome plan to rob me off my dignity……. A beautifully crafted ugly plan of revenge.
So this was it…. Catch them, thrash them……..n………
And he was the director of the game….
“I was waiting for you to come out of your shell…. baby“ said he. But you took a lot of time. Anyways I will come to pick you up tonight at 8 pm. Make sure that you are ready on time. Remember a single sound and your mms is out there in… public ….. your choice though.but mind it you aren’t left with any choice ……and he left.
Suddenly I was flooded with a number of thoughts…..feelings …. Anger…. Disgust…..my head was spinning like never before……but I controlled myself….. it was now my turn to be vindictive……. And I too had a plan.
I went to market …. Bought a sthetoscope and an apron… and directly headed for a nearby medical college….after having done with my job… I went back to the hostel n waited…waited like never before.
He came right on the time and within a couple of minutes we were in a hotel room.it was time for me to play my cards…….
“Look aditya….” Said I, I m sorry for what I did to u months ago…. But things are really changed now…with kabeer having left the scene already I too need someone to take care of my biological needs. I will come to you whenever you would say…. But all you need is to promise me that you will remain gentle and wouldn’t hurt me.
[its said that if you have a beautiful face and a vagina……. U can rule the world. Theory worked here as well. the prospect of fucking me every night without any trouble….. blinded this dog…..]
He agreed at once. “Now u sound reasonable” said he.
I smiled and said….can u get us some vodka please …. I want to alleviate my pain and enjoy life once again…….
He jumped in excitement and within moments we had our spirits high….. but I managed to stay in control…..because I had a plan,
I was being raped again…….and this time i was filming this bloody game in my camera…..
Moments later that tipsy bastard…fell unconscious…..completely overtaken by drug and desire….. and immediately I swung myself into action… opened my purse…. Took out a syringe filled with a bloody liquid..and pumped it all inside his body.and I left the hotel room.
Next day I called him up and invited him for a coffee.he showed up before time. There I told him how miserable his life was going to be….how I poured in millions of AIDS virus ,taken from an aids patient inside his body….. reminded him of how he was goin to die slowly…..and handed over to him a cd of my own rape filmed last night…. So that he could figure out how he kissed his own death.
And a snake was poisoned.
Every thing is fair in love and war….i was relieved…..
Masoom mohabbat ka Bas itna sa fasana hai,
Kagaz ki haveli hai aur baarish ka zamaana hai,
Kya shart-e-mohabbat hai Kya shart-e-zamaana hai,
Awaaz bhi zakhmi hai ,Aur geet bhi gaana hai,
Us paar utarne ki Ummeed bahut kam hai,
Kasti bhi puraani hai Aur toofan ko bhi aana hai,
Samjhe ya na samjhe wo Andaaz mohabbat ke,
Ek shaks ko ankhon se Dil ka haal sunana hai,
Bholi si adaa Phir koi ishq ki zid pe hai
Fir aag ka dariya hai …………………….Aur doob ke jaana hai…..
